Sometimes emotions can get the better of you, engulf your being until you feel you are spiralling out of control.
It snowballs, one experience triggers a cascade of sensations that can feel, let’s face it, mighty uncomfortable.
What is important to remember is that emotions are a kind of arousal that emerges from our experience.
Feelings are not fixed, they are fluid.
Essentially, it’s how we relate to the experience that gives rise to the emotions.
One of the questions I love asking as a coach is “What is the problem behind the problem?”
It’s an opportunity to dig into the deeper layer of the issue and solve the cause, not the effect.
Let’s look at the problem under the problem with emotions.
Emotions colour the way we see the world. We interpret the actions of others and we feel a certain way.
Our feelings create emotions, and emotions create feelings.
But what’s behind emotions?
We are going to cover 5 different emotions with physical expression, the definition of the emotion, what is happening in the mind, and if you go extreme, that is, let your ungoverned self rule, what may happen.
Expression: Eyes looking towards, can’t keep your eyes off the object or individual.
Define: An emotional state leading to feelings of attraction towards self or others.
Mind: Seeing the perceived positive side and being blind to the negative.
Ungoverned Self: Something happens that awakens you to its downside.
Expression: Glare, eyebrows drawn together, tight lips, increased heart rate and blood rushing to the extremities.
Define: An emotional state leading to feelings of hostility and frustration towards self or others.
Mind: Expectations placed upon self or others to do something YOU wanted them to do but THEY did not do/want to do.
Ungoverned Self: Escalating with increased anger, occupying more time and space in your mind.
Expression: Wrinkled nose, gagging, no eye contact.
Define: A strong emotion that results in feeling repulsion and wanting to move away from the individual.
Mind: Associated with perceiving many drawbacks, you are blinded to the upside of the behaviour.
Ungoverned Self: Continuing to stack up the perceived negatives of the behaviour, potentially creating more experiences of similar behaviour, or you doing the same behaviour you have judged.
Expression: Smile, laughter.
Define: A pleasant emotional state that elicits feelings of joy, contentment and satisfaction.
Mind: Associated with perceiving many benefits, you are blinded to the downside of life.
Ungoverned Self: God forbid you were to be ungoverned with happiness! Most people wouldn’t even consider looking at themselves during this state of mind. However, it can lead to sadness, a downward spiral, unforeseen humbling if left ungoverned.
Expression: Frown, loss of focus in eyes, tears.
Define: An emotional state characterized by feelings of disappointment, grief or hopelessness.
Mind: Expectations that haven’t matched reality.
Ungoverned: Downward spiral into depression.
Emotions are human beings’ barometer of what is really going inside your mind according to the experience. Emotions are your most reliable indicators of how well you are coping with challenges and changes in life.
The idea that your emotional arousal, whether positive, negative or neutral, emerges from our interaction with experiences, rather than being contained in the experiences themselves, opens a space for you to make some skillful choices about how you might regulate your emotional condition so that you don’t snowball your emotions to the experience that it stops you in your tracks.
This means you will be able to make wiser, more thoughtful decisions.
So, what can you do today to help yourself?
Three things come to mind;
Deliberately bringing your attention to specific sensations and experiences and naming the feelings will help to change the experience. This way, you connect your head with your body, enabling you to be more present in the moment, present in what you are experiencing. (most people don’t even know how they are feeling).
Feel the emotion. Yes, feel it with all your feelings. Remember, feelings are fluid.
Then work on your perceptions that are creating the feelings and sensations in your body.
You have the opportunity to invest a day in dissolving a dynamic, transcending your feelings to be able to make wiser, more thoughtful decisions.
Come and join the community of like-minded individuals who are applying transformational mindset work to grow themselves, know themselves and create a meaningful life.
Remember to live up to the light that is within you.
Leadership Coach & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
Helping leaders to level up using a transformational mindset work.