Are you sick of needing problems to motivate you to get the work done?
If that resonates with you, you’ve come to the perfect place.
Today, we’re diving into a deep mindset question:
Do we do the work to resolve pain, or do we pursue it to level up in life?
For many years, I found myself using pain as my motivator. I see this pattern in many people—doing the work to escape discomfort, with pain as the trigger to take action.
Often, it feels like life throws challenges your way just to push you forward. I thought I needed to be in the fire to help my clients—financial struggles, a tough divorce, or health issues that left me barely functioning.
Maybe you’ve been through something similar, believing these experiences were essential for your growth.
But what if there’s another way?
An internal, fulfilling way of doing the work that’s not rooted in resolving pain but in proactively smashing through your growth ceilings.
Shifting how we view motivation changes everything. Instead of relying on external pain as a trigger, we can cultivate internal fulfilment.
When we no longer rely on challenges or crises to fuel our progress, we avoid creating unnecessary struggles—like illness, relationship breakdowns, or financial slowdowns—to spur us into action. Understanding how pain motivates us can help us shift to a more sustainable path of growth.
Pain can be a powerful catalyst for change. When we experience discomfort, it lights a fire under us, pushing us to act. This is often linked to aversion motivation, the idea that we act to avoid or escape unpleasant situations.
For example, many people embark on fitness journeys because of health scares or discomfort—perhaps a diagnosis of high blood pressure prompts someone to adopt a healthier lifestyle.
The fear of health deterioration becomes a compelling motivator. Similarly, personal growth often comes from a desire to overcome adversity. Someone with a difficult childhood may work hard to break generational cycles of hardship or abuse, driven by the pain of their past, to create a better future.
While pain is a powerful motivator, relying on it exclusively can become exhausting. If we need problems to motivate us, life has a way of providing more challenges—more illness, more relationship struggles, more financial hardship—just to keep us moving forward.
This constant cycle can wear us down, leaving us drained and stuck in a reactive mode. The key is recognising that there’s another way to grow—one that isn’t dependent on pain.
Rather than waiting for adversity, we can take a proactive approach to self-development.
Growth can be intentional and fulfilling when driven by internal goals.
This shift allows us to create challenges that we consciously choose rather than those life throws at us. For instance, we can set goals to become stronger, learn new skills, or expand our business, not because we need to fix something but because we genuinely want to grow.
Challenging ourselves to be more, do more, and have more becomes an exciting journey rather than a reaction to problems.
When we align our growth with our values and intrinsic motivations, we enter a state known as self-concordance.
Self-concordant goals are those that align with who we truly are and what matters most to us. Pursuing these goals feels meaningful because it resonates with our authentic selves, providing a sense of autonomy and fulfilment.
The motivation comes from within, not from external pressures or rewards. In contrast, goals that are not aligned with our values—those driven by societal expectations or a desire to please others—can leave us feeling disconnected, stressed, and unfulfilled.
Choosing growth aligned with your purpose offers more sustainable motivation. Growth becomes about pursuing a larger vision, not just resolving immediate pain. It’s the difference between striving for short-term relief and working towards long-term fulfilment.
Growth through pain can certainly push us forward, but growth fueled by vision is much more expansive. It allows us to step beyond survival mode and into a space where we create and build the life we want.
Balancing these two types of motivation—resolving pain and levelling up—can be a powerful approach. One isn’t necessarily better than the other, but it’s important to reflect on which path resonates with you at different stages in life.
Both have their place, and the key is learning to use each approach intentionally rather than falling into reactive patterns.
Sometimes, resolving pain is necessary to move forward, but choosing to grow from a place of intrinsic motivation provides lasting fulfilment.
As we reflect on what drives us, it’s helpful to recognise that true growth happens when we shift from short-term problem-solving to long-term purpose.
Growth with purpose isn’t just about achieving success or making progress; it’s about aligning with a vision that transcends the immediate challenges.
It’s the journey of becoming who we are meant to be, not just reacting to life’s difficulties.
In conclusion, the question isn’t whether one form of motivation is right or wrong but how we can embrace both in balance.
Some moments will call for us to resolve pain, while others invite us to pursue growth proactively. What matters is finding the approach that aligns with our individual needs and aspirations.
When we tap into purpose-driven growth, we experience not just success but also deeper meaning and fulfilment.
Whether your journey is fueled by challenges or by vision, embracing personal growth will always lead to new possibilities and a richer life experience.
Tanya “Do The Work” Cross
Leadership Coach & The Coaches Coach
Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
BAppSoSc (Counselling)
