In the personal growth space, there is this story, a belief system that seems to be shared.
That the further down and out you have been, the greater the up and out you can go.
Whether it’s stories of Celebrities, people who built great wealth when they grew up in the slums, or athletes who made it against all odds to be one of the greatest.
Or even the success stories that coaches, mentors and teachers share.
And while these stories are inspiring to hear,
They also have a downside to them.
Not everyone has had childhood trauma,
Grew up picking food out of bins,
Raised by a cult,
Sold off as sex workers,
(all these real clients’ stories)
And because of this,
I have seen past clients looking for trauma that wasn’t there,
Wishing they had a worse upbringing,
Feeling like their uneventful upbringing, supportive parents, and middle-class upbringing had raised them into mediocrity,
Having Pain Envy…
But this thinking,
It’s a mistake,
They falsely attribute the pain, the suffering and the trauma as being the reason these people have success and the reason that they don’t.
That somehow the worse circumstances are what’s needed,
And completely miss the truth.
Yes, while childhood adversity is often seen in high-performing entrepreneurs,
Their transformation of trauma into strength, creativity, resilience and risk tolerance and channelled into business isn’t the norm statistically.
If it was, would every low socio-economic, neglected or abused child, or both, become Warren Buffets or Sarah Blakely?
The stats show that.
The higher the education, the higher the probability of becoming a millionaire and a billionaire.
The more emotional support a child receives, the higher they score on education and the greater the probability of personal success across all fields of life and life satisfaction.
Most self-made billionaires came from middle-class to upper-middle-class families and had high levels of education and parents who were supportive and didn’t neglect them.
They didn’t fall into the category of affluence neglect but were also not given an easy ride. They had to work to get to where they wanted to go.
So, the idea that one needs massive amounts of adversity, neglect, and poverty to obtain success is a false belief.
Your upbringing matters, not going to sugarcoat it and lie.
But what matters even more is,
The attributes, traits and skills that one builds within themselves through facing ANY adversity, either chosen or unwillingly given to them, count.
This is what builds the person to create success, not the outside circumstances, but what is done with it that counts.
So, for those of you who feel your lack of adversity is the reason you are not where you want to be.
It’s bullshit.
Go out, take on some challenges, start believing in yourself and build a life you love living.
Until next week,
Keep Smashing Growth Ceilings,
Justin Wiseman
