I wanted to quit.
I felt like a complete failure.
There was a part of me on the inside that wanted to run away.
It had been 2 months since achieving $330k in sales.
And it was followed by a 35k month (with 2 weeks away in Bali),
Then a 135k month.
When the monthly target was $133k…
I exceeded it, but it still wasn’t good enough (in my mind).
This 330k figure trapped me,
It was my cage.
I created an unrealistic expectation,
That ‘I’ would be able to generate this type of result month after month.
No matter the timeframe,
No matter the input (live events, marketing, webinars, lead numbers, etc.)
And because of this,
I robbed myself of appreciating any results I got after that,
I lived in what felt like a perpetual state of disappointment, frustration and shame.
In a constant state of comparison.
See when we have a sudden increase in performance,
Where something exceeds our expectations,
Whether that’s one-time wild sex with an incredibly attractive person, a sudden massive leap in income or winning a prestigious award in your field.
We set a new level of reward activation in the brain biologically, based on the benefits to drawback ratio of the new experience.
Therefore, anything that we now achieve, that we perceive is below this new set level of ‘expectation’, no longer has the same feelings associated with it. Even if it is something that previously would have been fulfilling and would have given a sense of achievement and satisfaction with it.
This unmet expectation leads to a massive drop in dopamine.
Leading to less desire and a drive to work towards and achieve your outcomes or goals. This can be especially amplified if you repeatedly miss the mark. (I have personally seen this with clients who mistake this for ‘burnout’ and ‘depression’. When, in reality, they are stuck in an infatuation/fantasy with a previous result).
This is where I was…
Until my coach pointed out what was going on (yes I was stuck with this for months).
I completed a side A on myself.
Completed the benefits and drawbacks of the result until it collapsed.
These are the 2 key mindset learnings that are now a part of my mindset tactics to make sure I don’t get stuck in this again.
- Pride in a previous performance will create a veil of underperformance in any other result that isn’t equal to that one. Leading to shame spirals. Clear your pride and stay on the mission.
- Zooming out to gain a wider and broader perspective over time will help to bring the peaks and troughs into perspective. A peak and a trough look bigger the closer you are to them. They therefore create more emotion the closer you look at them. Move out and you will realise these are just blips on the growth curve.
Take these lessons and tactics, apply them to your own life and don’t get trapped by a previous performance.