The power of No…
I remember when I had my first sales call with a masterful communicator, influencer and a ‘real’ salesperson.
Where the outcome wasn’t to get me to buy,
But to guide me to a decision that was based on what was best for me, and what was best for them.
His name was Ryan Lim.
(He is the Ex-Head of Air Asia, Tony Fernandes’ right-hand man, someone whom I have a huge deal of gratitude for sharing his wisdom with me, both for life and business).
I remember how empowered I felt on that call.
I didn’t feel pressured.
I felt in complete control of the whole call.
Of course, I felt this way because of his mastery.
And I could feel that he was just my guide and not on the call to get “a sale’.
I had been on a lot of sales calls where I felt icky and like the person’s intentions were not about me but about them.
Many times I felt as though the yes questions were leading me into a corner. That was some level of manipulation.
And I know I am not the only one who has felt this…
I have also been on sales calls where it was the opposite.
Where too much value was given, it was all about me and I ended up getting off the call feeling guilty and like I owed them something.
And questioning. Why didn’t they ask me for money or pitch me their product?
So, what was so different about Ryan, compared to others I had been on calls with?
He only used questions that got a yes, to confirm what I said.. When he paraphrased back to me.
Which made me feel understood, seen and heard.
He then framed his assumptive questions and clarified questions to be answered with a no.
Which then made me feel secure and safe and that I wasn’t getting myself into anything that I wasn’t sure of.
You see in using the power of no.
It leaves the person feeling safe, secure and in control. Without any feeling of an unspoken agreement being made or an underlying assumption being confirmed.
Yes, questions create caution.
No questions create safety.
How do you do it?
Take any questions that you may normally seek a yes too.
Take your creativity and figure out how to lead them to the same commitment but by getting a no answer. It also requires the right context. You can just jump in and frame a no-question if you have the right context.
I want you to get present with yourself and ask these questions.
Yes Answer Question:
Does this sound like it would work for you?
Reframe to:
Is there any reason this wouldn’t work for you?
Or
Yes Answer
Would you be open to checking out(insert thing)?
No Answer
Would it be an absurd idea, to think you are open to checking out(insert thing)?
Or
Can we go out for dinner?
Reframe to:
Would you be against going out for dinner?
Hope you take this slight communication shift and start playing with your communication.
Feel free to let me know how you have used it…
…..Oh and use it for the best intentions of both people.
All communication skills can be used for the best intentions and worst intentions.
So choose wisely.
