Bonnie turned 2 last month. This had come with a flooding of people saying “oh, this is when it gets really tough, they throw tantrums, get upset, refuse to do what you say, say no ALOT.”
So let’s talk about the terrible twos. No, let’s talk about human behaviour because let’s face it, even as adults we sometimes spit the dummy.
Emotions serve a purpose.
When you’re challenged with what you want, or what is important to you, you’ll find yourself using emotion as a strategy to get what you want. Or maybe using emotions as you don’t want to say what is on your mind, so crying says it for you.
And emotions can be amplified because of your environment.
When you’re in an environment where people are calm and centred, you feel it too.
Oh, do you remember the panic buying in the supermarkets last year? Just walking in there I wanted to buy EVERYTHING I didn’t need and 20 items of anything I did.
It leaves the question, when you’re upset and having a meltdown, how long do you stay in your emotional state, and when do you come back to centre? (or how long do you allow others to be emotional before you say – hey, time to work on it).
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There is a time and place for someone to hold this space for us, to allow us time to express ourselves and how we feel. To vent. (And it feels so good! I ain’t going to lie).
I have seen clients lose themselves in their business and lose themselves when their business has fallen apart and no longer exists. I have seen clients struggle with their niche and what service to offer the world. Even being slammed by the media for something that is not true and was worried business would slow down. #majormeltdown
They come because they are ready to process their emotions, to do the work and get back on track with fulfilling their vision.
I have witnessed some incredible transformations in people from doing internal work on themselves (think disgusting habits stopping, affection starting again in a relationship, aggression from the other party calming, and people calling again after having a strained relationship).
This is the paradox we have to grapple as a leader.
When to feel through it and when to work on it.
It’s tough as there is no prescription that tells you what to do. I wish I had the answer but I don’t. Only you will know.
Next time you have a moment, you want to throw all your toys out of the cot, check-in with yourself to see if you are really “feeling the full force of the emotions” and “when will you be ready to work on it.”
See you on the inside,